How to join a Community of Practice
A few tips and tricks on how to be a new member of a community
I talk a lot about how to lead Communities of Practice because I genuinely believe effective leadership is essential for successful communities. To my mind the most important thing that any good leader should remember is that the community is FOR the community – everything it does should be in one way or another for the benefit of its members.
It’s not always easy for someone new to join an existing community – it can be very difficult to walk into a room full of people who know each other, and even harder to step up and take part. What if its one of those communities where they go ‘oooh I see a lot of new faces here today, perhaps you’d like to introduce yourselves?’ (like a meetup where the host thinks they’re really funny but isn’t) or worse, what if they don’t and I spend an awkward hour in the back corner of a room wondering at the in-jokes and wishing I was somewhere else? I’ve written before about how its part of a leader’s role to welcome new members to the community and how they can help them belong, but today I thought I would look at the other side of the coin and talk about things you can do as a new member joining an existing community for the first time to make your own life easier, and what you can do to feel and be welcomed. Remember - even if you’re a long time member of one community, its can still be nerve wracking to join another!
Be brave – even today, I still find meeting groups of new people a stressful and uncomfortable experience. My coping mechanisms tend to differ depending on whether I’m meeting people in real life or virtually; if I’m online I tend to jump straight in first and make a joke about something or other, if I’m in 3d I tend to encourage someone else to talk about themselves (I don’t know why I do this - I’m not recommending it, just reporting on it). The point is that no matter how uncomfortable or nervous I might be feeling I have to remember that by choosing to be here with this new group of people I am stepping out of my comfort zone and into my learning zone, and this by its nature it’s a little uncomfortable. And that’s ok, because I’m here to learn and the more I learn the more comfortable I will be.
Be you – last time I wrote about how important it is for leaders to be genuine, and that applies for members too. No one wants to be part of a community where they can’t be themselves; if you’re constantly putting on an act you can never truly relax and other people can sense that. If you can be yourself and you are surrounded by likeminded people, then it will be easy for them to accept you and you to accept them. If you don’t feel like you can safely and comfortably be yourself amongst these people, perhaps you need to ask yourself whether this is really a community you want to be part of or not.
Be respectful – any community consists of a delicate and intricate network of trust and dependencies, and you (or any other new person) joining disrupts that. That shouldn’t put you off but you should be mindful of it, and be respectful of the community that you want to be part of (which of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be there). If the leader opens with a reminder of behaviours, confirming that it’s a safe space for discussion and how members should behave, you should respect that. You are also showing others that you can be part of this group too, and that you understand and agree to be there and play a part in it.
Talk to the presenter – if it’s a session where someone is sharing something new with the group, make a particular effort to go and talk to them about it afterwards. They will be ‘expecting’ people to talk to them about what they’ve shared so you don’t have to worry about it being awkward, they will appreciate the fact that they did something that you found interesting/useful/that you paid attention, and it will give you a good opportunity to begin making connections with people within the group.
Set yourself an easy milestone – for many (myself included), its hard work meeting new people. I think its important to manage your own expectations for what you’re going to get from day one of joining a community, and not go too wild and giddy with what you think will happen. I mean, its possible that you might go home that night having made a friend for life, met the person who’ll end up best man at your wedding, or someone who you’ll be ready to lift up your shirt and donate a kidney to…….but you probably wont. What will probably happen is that you’ll enjoy the time you spend there, and might end up meeting one or two people who’s names you remember an enjoyed the company of. Its day one, that’s all you need to start with and to build on next time. Once you’ve managed that you can sit back and relax, and anything more that happens that day is just a bonus.
When I talk to leaders, I encourage them to make clear (gently but clearly) what is expected of members and what they can expect in return. There’s a number of reasons for this, but certainly the biggest is that it makes this social transaction easy and accessible – if you spell out what is expected of someone, they can easily choose whether that’s something they want to be or not and know what they have to commit. In a well-functioning community the implied social norms this creates generally makes the need for ever actually having to enforce these expectations obsolete, as it just becomes the culture. Still, it does no harm when new people are being introduced to that culture that we take the initiative to reshare and reinforce those expectations, so that its as easy for new members to hold themselves to account as it is for those who’ve been there for years.
One more thing…
In an extremely unlikely turn of events, this week I reached a very surprising milestone and got to 100 subscribers. I am both touched and bewildered that so many people have chosen to read these posts, and I’m extremely grateful to you all for taking the time to do so. Thanks again everyone!
Thanks so much for reading, if you’ve enjoyed this post I’d really appreciate it if you could share it - alternatively you could always buy me a coffee :)